One of the most frustrating things about being married to a person having a mid-life crisis is their refusal to be helped. Many people when they made their marriage vows, repeated a pledge similar to the following;
“I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife). Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life. ”
No wonder the dilemma when you are suddenly faced with the situation where the person you promised to commit to spending the rest of your life with, and “helping when they need your help” suddenly turn their back on you! What to do? My answer is, it’s your decision! How’s that for passing the buck!
Seriously though, it is a difficult decision to make and there’s no wrong or right one, it’s up to you to decide what is best for you. The fact of the matter is, more often than not, you are wasting your time in trying to “help” a person in a mid-life crisis. They are on their journey and don’t think they need help from anyone. So, trying to convince them otherwise reminds me of the story about the door to door book salesman. There was one office where they had made it clear they didn’t want his books. After stubbornly refusing to give up trying to sell them at this place, they eventually gave him a shove out the door and sent him flying down the steps. After picking himself and his books up, he looked up and said, “Well do you want the books or don’t ya?!” Ha!
Of course, there’s a fine line between being persistent and being stubborn. That’s why it has to be a decision made by you and you alone. If you genuinely feel that you are willing to stick it out with your partner through their MLC ( mid life crisis ) , not because you or others think you should, but because you want to, then that is what’s right for you. There are situations where women have stuck by their men ( or vice versa ) through their MLC and the outcome was a positive one. Then there are also times where people have tried their best to salvage the marriage and realised years later that they should have given up on it long ago and carried on with a new phase in their lives.
This decision on what to do, though made by you, should be done through a rational process. Deliberate carefully and thoughtfully, enlist the support and advice of those that you trust can be objective in their opinions. Try and detach yourself from the emotional aspect, think of the long term consequences, give yourself time to pray and meditate about it. Then when you have made the decision, follow through on it, stick to your convictions and trust that you have made the right choice.
To try or not to try, that is the question. It’s up to you to look inside for the answer.
To receive the free report; “How to Cope with your Husband’s Midlife Crisis”, click here