If you clicked on the link to this post thinking you were going to read a spicy article on B&D, you’re in luck, it’s not. It’s something a lot more substantial. What I want to talk about in this article certainly has a lot to do with shades though. Not what we see with our eyes, ( which incidentally are only capable of seeing 32 shades of grey ), rather, what we see with our mind.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are walking around with “glasses” that only allow them to see two colours , black and white. Those two colours I’m talking about are akin to right or wrong, true or false, good or bad. Now in some cases, that’s a good thing, other times, a lot in fact, it’s not. For example, if you’re not a follower of X religion, your faith is false. If you have this particular sexual preference you are bad, if you hold this particular political view , you are wrong. Mmmmm….. interesting assumptions. People debate, scream and fight to prove they are right about these beliefs, but at the end of the day, finding rock solid proof to support their argument is difficult. Why? Well… because it doesn’t exist. At the end of the day, we are often talking about personal opinions, not facts that can be substantiated.
It’s not limited to political or religious issues either. Relationships can falter when people are not willing to compromise on points of disagreement, that horrible pettiness where egos clash and hearts cop the fall out. All for….well sweet f*&#k all actually. I mean seriously, why? Get this people, we don’t always need to be right! Most of the the time, there are many sides to an issue, there are various points of view, we’re talking people’s opinions, not black or white , right or wrong. If a belief someone holds is not causing serious harm to others (no, being offended does not qualify as serious harm, sorry) then why do we need to prove them wrong?
Give people a choice between being happy and being right, you can pretty much guarantee they’ll tell you the former is more important to them, but do they act like it? Nope! The need to be right seems to be deeply ingrained in many people. Also though, when we encounter a belief that clashes with our own, it can be quite confronting. The possibility that a belief we have may not be right can destabilise us, especially when we have built our identity on that bedrock belief.
If the belief is not true, what does that say about us, what are the implications? Generally not that serious actually, it’s just the perception, it means adopting something new, something different , and of course as we all know, that doesn’t come easy for a lot of people. Let’s be honest, most of us resist change, at least initially. We fight it tooth and nail , sometimes literally. But what if we didn’t? What if we actually did something radical and stopped resisting?
Wow, now there’s a thought! The possibility that we can actually let someone else hold their own beliefs and opinions without the world collapsing around our ears. Ever been afraid to do something, like bungee jumping or trying Brussel s
prouts for the first time and then doing it and realising you’re still alive and in fact, you kind of liked the experience? That’s what I’m talking about.
Maybe it’s time to stop acting like grown ups and becoming little kids again. Try it, you just might like it.